Monday, March 23, 2009

End of Life Reflection

This is Cindy Kapp, marketing director for Jeff Roach’s group of companies. Since I help him get his blogs posted there have been none in the last few weeks because of a tough season in my life. My mother went on to be with the Lord. I am confidence she is in Heaven with my dad, her parents, her sister and with the King of Kings. And thus I am confidant I will see her again in life eternal.

Losing my mom was very different than other deaths I have experienced. Just as no two lifes are the same, no two end of life experiences are just alike. My father died after only 2 weeks in the hospital. The quick home going caught me off guard. I was emotionally overwrought at his funeral. My mom on the other hand has been taking a slow slide down with Parkinson’s for the past 6 or 7 years. This last year she had heart surgery from which she fought hard to recuperate. She had made much progress when something caused her to stop breathing. The EMS brought her vital signs back but she never truly returned. For 10 days we took turns standing by her bed, holding her hand, stroking her head and talking with her. She never responded yet we had a hard time leaving her side. Finally she breathed her last. I was able to truly celebrate her life at the burial and memorial service because I had already done a lot of grieving.

I pondered and prayed over why God didn’t just take her home earlier. I don’t know the answer in full but I did see some divine purpose in it all. My sisters and I spent many hours together we would not have in the busyness of life. I had time to morn losing my precious mom over a period of time instead of suddenly. I spent some quality time talking with God and getting to know Him better. I enjoyed remembering all the grand times my mom orchestrated.

This past year my mom, who was a brilliant woman, became less and less able to think clearly, she spoke less and less and she was tired physically. This temporal body we have on earth does waste away. My mother had a great ability to make anyone feel welcome in her home. She had an incredible generosity. God had blessed her with money to share. She was amazingly wise in a very humble way. She made sure everyone found joy in their life. Because she did not hoard, He continued to bless her and all those she loved.

Her name will not be in history books but her legacy of love, wisdom and generosity will continue through those she touched.

Moving forward for Jeff Roach,

Cindy Kapp, creative pursuits

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